PICTURES... anyone?

walang magawa... hahahaha! hindi makatulog e...

Stop the TORTURE

Hi, blog... wazzup?

Me? I’m just here eating anything... hahaha! Cake, my dear.. Red Ribbon’s Chocolate Mar… uhmm… mar… mar-whatever-jilae? Hindi ko alam yung spelling!!! T_T

At hindi ko na cia maubos...

Bkit ganun?

So many new things – and I’ve been doing a lot of them without using my head. Sige lang sige. Masaya e.

Am I satisfied?

NO. I’m not.

Am I happy?

I can’t say.

Why are there so many people who just don’t get it?! Why do they need to pretend they know nothing and then come along, torturing you, with their blackmailing-I-know-something-about-you-moves? I hate it.

I just hate it.

You know what, if there’s something you need to know, ask. Tell me. If you’re concerned or scared for me, tell me. Walang mangyayari sa pasilip-silip mu jan. Kung feeling mu masama yung gnagawa ko, sabihin mu!

Takot ka rin kasi..

Time check: It’s exactly 12:01am.

Ayan.. ubos na ang cake..

I want to live alone - away from here, away from home. Away from those people who think that I’m stupid and can’t do anything good. Away from those people who always think that I need them.

I don’t need people’s advices. I don’t need your concern. No one’s better than me in life’s decision-making. I know what I’m doing. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. Laugh! I don’t give a damn. Just dont tell me what am I suppose to do.

NEVER dare TELL me to follow you’re orders because they are better than mine and I wont succeed if I follow my own will!

I’ll kill you...

Huwag nyo kong pangunahan...

And most importantly, don’t look at me as if you’ve never done anything bad in your lifetime. Hey! We’re all the same - we have dark secrets no one else knows. I don’t care about yours. I hope and I’m begging you to not care with mine either.

It’s for your own good. Thank you.

Disclaimer: Wag nyong pancnin. “EMO” lng po.. Kamusta na mga BLOG-mates!!! :) just ranting around. Hahaha!

NANDE MO NAI?!!!!

kamusta?!

kamusta?!

weeeee....

First, THINGS TO DO:

1. IECEP - invitations
2. IECEP - CD's
3. IECEP - venue for the orientation
4. THERMO - lecture
5. DIGITAL ELECTRONICS - quiz
6. DIGITAL ELECTRONICS - research
7. DIGITAL ELECTRONICS - prototype ***
8. COMM LEC - quiz
9. COMM LEC - prototype ***
10. AUTOMATION - PDS
11. AUTOMATION - exercise 2
12. AUTOMATION - module 2
13. COMM LAB - reports (expt. 2&3)
14. COMM LAB - prototype ***
15. PCB DESIGN - prototype ***
16. CAMILLE - chibi

THE STORY:

I got so many things to do that explains why I haven't written any entry. I'm sorry...

Many things happened! Really! Some are really amazing.. some are depressing and some are unforgettable. First things first! Being an officer in IECEP is one great experience – I thought! But hell! It’s killing me now! Worst, it’s giving me pain... *sigh*... I love my org. however, I’m not happy anymore...

There are so many stuffs that I have to do and I can feel that my body’s rejecting it na. I’m very napapagod. (o, conio na?! hala!) But, wait... (there’s more! Call... hahahaha!) That’s not the reason why I’m not happy anymore. Don’t make pilit ‘coz I wont tell you!

Bakit ba ako ngcoconio?!!

Next, me being an SA (student assistant).. One word: “FUN!!!” hahahaha.. saya talaga. Not just for the reason na I really love my work, it is almost because of the people I work for and with... This is where I belong... This is where I’m happy and comfortable... This is where I can be myself... Sad to say that this will be my last term... T_T *crying*

Sad...

My Academics: Nothings new, it’s still simply hell... hirap. Talaga. Wala akong masabi kundi... mahirap... andaming gngawa... kakapagod... ayoko nang mag-aral... tinatamad na ko (lagi naman)...

My Love: I’m still happy. Being with him makes everything seemed easy and blissful. I could not ask for more but to have him in my side forever...

In love? Hala... iba na ‘to... hahahaha!

Hayyy... antok na...

Antok na...

Bye! See yah next time...

asar

its been a month already since my last post and 'til now, i still dont know what to rant about.

*sigh*

i have this personality crisis lately that i even had to question myself if its really me... tae, andrama.. but this is the first in my life na lahat ng ginawa ko palpak.

*sigh*

hindi na rin ako marunong makipag-usap sa ibang tao. IQ ko bumababa. mas marami na kong alam na kalokohan. kinakabahan na ko kc parang andami kong ibabagsak na subjects. laging napapagalitan ng teacher, adviser, head, parents, friends and even by my younger sisters..

*sigh* (kahit na mas mabilis na kong mag-type ngaun.. hahaha! kahit na hindi nakatingin sa keyboard)

(naku nmn! mei dumating na panget! nangungunsumi na naman ako...)

naranasan mu na bang ma-feel yung para bang unang kita mu palang sa isang tao parang ayaw mu anng gmawa ng kahit anung koneksyon sa kanya?! yung para bang "kahit anung mangyari hindi ako makikipag-friends sa kanya".. hayy..

TO BE CONTINUED..

Never should have spoken...

i know he doesn't like it.. he doesn't want to hear it either. who would, anyway?! hearing from someone important that you feel no satisfaction really hurts, having the idea that you still have him around.

i'm sorry...

i want you to know that i want you by my side and.. i'm satisfied having you in my life...

i apologize for not thinking...

PATIENCE

T_T

nagalit saken yung asawa ko kagabi! yeah! hahahaha.. pag iniicp ko, natutuwa ako.. pero, during that time na galit cia, nakakatakot... hayy..

I have this friend that was once my suitor. Many times kcng rejected kaya medyo away away kame at ngaun term lng ulit kme nag-usap - BLOCK p.. medyo ayaw ata ng asawa ko na lagi kaming magkasama. Hindi naman maiiwasan kc pareho kame ng TRACK and close friend din cia nila TONIX and CHEN. I have no objections, either... kaso, all of a sudden, bigla na lng ciang nabbadtrip pag nakikita niyang kasama ko yung asawa ko or pinaguusapan lng namin cia. Worst, nimura niya c TONIX yesterday ng "F*ck you".. awww.. dun ako medyo nainis. Ang iniicp niya, sinet-up cia ni TONIX na makita akong kasama yung asawa ko. anu namang masama dun,db? Asawa ko yun kaya kasama ko!! Tsaka, bakit cia magagalit?!!

Ang alam ko mei nililigawan cia matagal na. Sign of relief yun para saken kc at least "akala ko" naka-move on na.. Tapos kahapon, bigla na lng sasabihin saken ni TONIX and CHEN na affected pa rin cia..

First thing! I dont think that he should be affected although mei past feelings cia para saken. Kaso, taking into consideration na mei niligawan cia, I guess its improper. Second thing! Bakit niya kelangang magbitiw ng "foul words" and take note, sa isang close friend pa na wala namang bad intention tlga. Lastly, he has no right to get angry. Sabihin na nating unconciously yun or human nature,.. pero dapat, he should watch his actions and words. nakakasakit na cia.. AGAIN..

I felt bad kc, in one way of another, involve ako d2.. hayy, little boy talaga..tsaka kc friend ko cia and we had a good friendship way back then.

o? bakit puro tungkol sa taong 'to?? (magagalit na naman yung isa dyan pag nabasa 'to!! nyahaha..)

My husband was a little annoyed and disappointed yesterday. galit nga daw sya, sabi niya. nagalit pala. hahahaha! parang hindi naman.. kc hindi ko daw cia dinaanan sa OPEN LAB and tapos, paglabas pa niya, nakita niya kaming magkakasama.. kasama dun yung person na kanina ko pa inukwento sa taas.. e ayaw niya dun!

sa dinami dami na kaaayawan niya, dun pa sa taong yun..he's a lot lot lot better naman. (pwede bang "best" na?? nyahahaha..) what i'm trying to point out is that, he (asawa ko) shouldn't be jealous.. siya na nga pinili ko e! magalit nlng cia pag nakipaghiwalay ako sa kanya.. patagal pa naman yun! ahahaha! baka hindi na nga ako makipaghiwalay e.. (sana po, Lord! please..) hahahaha! :) malas lng niya.. hahaha..

haba na nito..

next time again.. :)

REALIZATION

hello!! wee..

I'm here ulit sa I&C Laboratory.. duty ko.. as usual, wla nnmn akong magawa, kaya blog muna.. humm.. :) saya d2, sobrang lamig talga.. (hindi nagrereply yung asawa ko.. T_T panget tlaga..) knina nand2 si sir yves, kwento knwento tapos ngbigay ng tips sa knight fight.. hindi pa kc ako nagccmula.. awww.. (ayun! nagmiscol na yung panget.. hahaha! sa wakas.. c:)

inaayos namin kagabi yung adaptor ni ate! waaa! grabe! saya! naayos nmin cia! hihi.. kahit wasak wasak na yung casing.. sakit nga lang sa kamay kc naiipit.. :D

anyways.. binigyan niya ako yesterday ng card! hahaha! I really 'loved' the statement there..the writings, i guess.. I just hope he meant everthing that he said.. uhmm.. err.. hahaha! I was very happy that I dont know what to think that time.. natatawa rin kc ako.. hahahah!

basta..

mei iniicp ako,.. mei narealized ako.. at ayaw kong sabihin.. :)

bwahahahaha!

RANDOM

Got nothing to do, kaya puro blogging yung gngawa ko d2 sa IRC.. hmm.. mukhang mapapa-daily yung pagppost ko d2 sa blog a..

anyways, magaan pa yung work ko and I'm looking forward for more difficult tasks. Anlamig talaga d2.. T_T tirahan daw kc ng mga polar bears. hahahaha!

Ui! nga pala! nag-create ako ng account sa Knight Fight! e hindi ko naman alam kung anung gagawin! nyhaha! anu ba yun? epal lng yung paggawa ko. hahaha! d bale.. pag-uwi ko sa bahay!!!

9:45 plang kc d2.. e hanggang 12pm yung duty ko.. kamusta naman.. wala na kong maicp na gagawin.. hahahaha! :D

napaka-random ng mga statements ko ngaun.. (**sigh**)

miss ko na honey ko..

anyways, mmya nlng ulit!!!

Current Listening to: "I knew I Loved you" by Savage Garden

First Month

nand2 ako ngaun sa IRC! Hahahaha! First time.. nakakatuwa.. :) na medyo scary kc hnd ko pa alam masyado yung gagawin.. hayy.. naku! scary talaga..

iniicp ko, pano kung pa-connect saken yung ganito ganyan, e hindi ko alam! waaa! T_T

======

until now, I'm asking myself, why I kept on doing so many things. Bat ang hilig kong pagsabaysabayin yung napakaraming bagay?! SA-IECEPofficer-student-friends-family-boyfriend-and so on.. I realized early this morning that I'm looking for something of which I have no idea what it is. Something that would satisfy me.

Bored lng ba talaga ako?!

hahahaha! cguro, I'm just that type of person na hindi mapakali sa isang bagay and always involves herself in different matters.

When will I stop?

Finally, I now know what to do.. :)

======

Happy Monthsary, Honey...

I Love You! :)

SWOLLEN EYES

Mom and I had a fight “AGAIN” (hey, what’s new!?) yesterday. And oh! Don’t worry; it’s my fault – me and my nasty attitude again. Ha-ha! **sigh**

Yet somehow it made me feel better (after 3 straight hours of crying... Now, uhm... err, I don’t remember the last time I cried that long. Oh, never mind.). Yes, it’s ok to cry once in a while (it can make your eyes look more beautiful! Ha-ha! And it can wash away the dirt within (or along??) your eyeballs...nyahahaha!) Aside from that, it can help you realize many things – dreadful things to be exact. Putting into consideration that you’re tired and angry at the same time... wah! Girl, you’re ready to kill someone (not your mother, of course...)


Here are some of my thoughts that time:

- “There’s no such thing as perfect - and that includes my relationship with my mom.”
- “If I am given a chance to choose whether to live as an orphan or live with my family right now, I’d rather choose to be an orphan. At least, they have the right to be angry at their parents who left them... while I don’t even have the right to at least argue with them... Worst, I don’t know what to do anymore! Given two options: a) should I pity myself or b) curse and kill myself for not being a good person. It’s silly of me to be thinking this way – but I think “B” is a better answer, isn’t it? Unless somebody would give me other choices – “c” or “d”?
- “I want to be a better person – but not for my mom.”
Words that keep on living on my mouth that time: “I wanna die... I wanna die...” – so selfish of me.
- “Why am I supposed to understand them and not them, understanding me??”
- “I wanna get off of this house; live somewhere else... but Gahd! How??? Fifty pesos lang ata yung pera ko...”

See, I’m angry. AND FUNNY!!! Nyahahaha... Good gracious! Will somebody help me!?? Hahahahaha! It’s always like that: the realizations are the same; thoughts are still dreadful and morbid, questions are still the questions and the answers are all the unchanged yet they never satisfy.

I cry every time I remember my dad’s face. I so love my dad. It’s him why I kept on going... it’s him why I’m still living... and that’s because, I really, really love him.

Yet, it’s the same with my mom. Honestly, I almost cried when she told me to eat by lunch a while ago (**sob**). Mothers are all like that. I know she never meant to hurt me that great. Yet, for now I’ve decided to slow down a little bit on her. Talk less. Smile less. I think it’ll be better that way until I finally prove “it” to her and to myself, as well.

===

Half of my realizations are horrible, I know. Half of it is about someone else very, very special. I smile every time I remember his face. He made me feel better. Its good thing to know that there’s somebody out there who loves you all the way. And I thank God that he came.

How I wish he will stay... forever.

===

I love you, Daddy.

I love you, Mama.

I love my family.

I love him.

Andrew, I love you…